SNAKE VENOM
Simulated viper’s venom may be a bit of a fake out in the natural beauty stakes, but it’s by no means any less mind-boggling. “Syn-Ake” is the key constituent of UltraLuxe 9, an anti-aging potion used by Beverly Hills dermatologist Sonya Dakar Skincare, whose celebrity clientele includes Drew Barrymore, Fergie, and Gwyneth Paltrow. The $185-per-ounce cream works by blocking the neurotransmitters that tell muscles to contract, just shy of an amount that would leave you completely paralyzed.
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BULL SEMEN CONDITIONER
Hari’s, an upscale salon in London, touts its Aberdeen Organic Bull Semen Treatment as “Viagra for hair.” The protein-rich hair mask drenches follicles in a combination of Aberdeen Angus bull semen and Katera root. Remember when conditioning with mashed-up avocado felt a little kooky?
SNAIL SLIME
The latest miracle ingredient being touted? Snail slime. And we’re not talking about scarfing down the occasional escargot. Slathered on in cream or gel form, mollusk mucus is said to cure a variety of ills, including acne, scars and burns, and of course, wrinkles.
HUMAN PLACENTA EXTRACT
Trying to regain the ruddy, fulsome skin you had as a baby? You’re not aiming high enough. For a complexion so creamy it’s positively embryonic, try someone’s afterbirth. EMK Placental has brewed up an entire range of products from postnatal issue—including face masks, eye gels, and hair serums—that celebs like Jennifer Lopez, Eva Longoria, and Madonna are rumored to partake of. (We’re told that the company has since rejiggered the formula with plant-based ingredients, however.)
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LEECH THERAPY
Hollyweird is right. In 2008, actress Demi Moore gushed to David Letterman about her trip to Austria, where she suckled a quartet of medical leeches to detoxify her blood. “Really? Leech. Actual…leeches? Like the blood-sucking…” Letterman asked. “Yes. Blood,” Moore replied. “I’m feeling very detoxified right now.”
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My daughter and I had fish pedis in Singapore, and it was fun, tickly, and refreshing. We had no ill effects. It’s a bit different, but fun. It cost about $25, including 30 min. of internet surfing, and a drink. Not a bad deal, I think.